“As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness; when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness.”
This verse led me on a little bunny trail through scripture. Right next to Psalm 17:15, I had written down Psalm 27:4 which says, “One thing I have asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple.” And finally, next to Psalm 27:4, I had written down 2 Thessalonians 3:5: “May the Lord direct, your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ.” The one thing these verses have in common is just that. One thing: that we might be directed to the face of Christ, beholding his glory, staring right into his beaming eyes saying, “I am satisfied in you.” Yesterday during on the mount (our devotional time), I was pondering a time in my life that I was truly dissatisfied with the Lord, and that time in my life was one year ago. I had applied to two colleges and I was accepted into both schools. I did well on the SAT, and my AP tests, but the money just wasn’t adding up. I couldn’t possibly understand the reason why. I was trying so hard, and it seemed like God kept slamming door after door, right in my face. Although my mouth was saying, “God, I trust you. Have your way in my life.” My heart was truly saying, “God, you don’t know what is best for me. Just give me what I want.” That is the problem isn’t it? We ask for what we want, instead of what we need. We ask God to open up the door we want opened, instead of asking him to shut every door, except the perfect one. My eyes and my mind had forsaken the face of the Lord, but Jesus kept whispering. It wasn’t until July, three weeks before I was supposed to move into my dorm room, that I decided to shut up and let God speak. I was here in Antigua, sitting in a hammock at our hostel. All Summer long, God had faithfully reminded me, week after week, to wait and be still. I remember sitting there doing my devotions, reading yet another verse about trusting God, and I told him that I was sick of waiting for Him to speak. I needed to know what he was doing with my life, right then and there. As selfish as I was, God spoke, and he told me that I would be coming back to Guatemala. I did not believe it first, but here I am, seven months later by the grace of God, and I would not change a thing. Of course I regret not trusting God, but I can’t help but look at all that He did in my time of desperation. He met me right where I was at, and taught me how to be wholly reliant and dependent on his strength, and his strength alone. I can truly tell you that I am satisfied in the Lord. I am thankful for the valley we walked through, because in it God showed me the depths of his love, and the vastness of his might. May my gaze be ever upward, and may I allow God to invade my heart, filling every cavern with Him to the point of overflowing. God, be the heartbeat of all that I do, open my eyes to see yours staring right back into mine. “Oh God be my everything, be my delight. Be Jesus, my glory, my soul satisfied.”
Application: Saturday night, when I have wifi, I will not use it to go on social media, or call my friends and family. I will post my blogs, and log off of the wifi, as soon as I am done. After this is accomplished, I will go spend time with Jesus, and truly be content in him alone.