My Greatest Support

Psalm 94:18-19

“When I thought, “my foot slips,” your steadfast love, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.” 

If I am being honest, the first three weeks of living in Kenya have been so hard. I find myself surrounded by people, and yet feeling utterly alone. The mornings have been my greatest battlefield, and a lot of times I choose not to fight. I wake up wondering why in the world God brought me half way around the world, wishing I could be back home, where everything was comfortable and so much easier. Even when I go back home in late October, my life will not be any easier. A lot of changes are happening, and I have no idea what adventure awaits me next. Sometimes, I have myself convinced that my future truly has no hope, that there really is nothing to sing about, but God, it’s a lie, and I know it is a lie straight from the mouth of the devil himself, so why am I believing it? Why won’t I let you be enough for me? I hear you calling out my name, asking me if I trust you, but it has become such a battle to say yes. Job 15:11. “Are the comforts of God too small for you?” Are you not the God of the universe that made the land and the sea, the moon and the sun, the stars and the sky, man and animals, and every living wonder? You are the God that I cannot escape, for your presence is all around me. And although I am convinced that you have plenty of other better things to be doing, you still come to me, consuming me with your love, and overwhelming me with your simple desire to know and save me. You have never let me down, you have never failed me, and you never cease to pursue me. What do I have to fear? Why do I waste my time doubting the only thing that is consistently constant, and forever faithful, in my life. You are even faithful in the songs that I sing. Just as I was feeling so alone, a song called, “Met by Love,” played through my headphones. The bridge says, “We can run straight into your arms, unafraid, because every time we need you, we’re met by love. We can lift our hands to heaven, full of faith, because every time we worship, we see your face.” Your steadfast love is my greatest support. Thank you Jesus, for counting me as worthy enough to die for. Give me beauty for ashes, light for darkness, life for death, joy for sorrow, and healing for pain. Take me deeper still, and allow me to reach the limits of all that is humanly possible, so that you can do the seeming impossible in my life. I entrust my life in the palm of your hands, the most perfectly skilled hands in all the earth, knowing that you know exactly what I need, and I don’t, and that is okay. I never am alone, you find me. “God’s goodness is the great support of sinking spirits…God’s comforts will reach the soul and will bring with them that peace and that pleasure which the smiles of the world cannot give, and which the frowns of the world cannot take away.” -Matthew Henry

Application: I will remind myself, every time I am feeling low, that God is the greatest support of sinking spirits. I will look back at my list of things I am grateful for, and reming myself of His goodness to me.