Before and Beside

Psalm 16:8

“I have set the Lord always before me, because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.”

When I first read this verse, I was encouraged and yet, confused. This verse says that the Lord is before and he is at my right hand, but what does that mean? I get it, God is everywhere, but I still do not understand how the Lord can be before and beside. Then God reminded me of what he has done in my life, and how he has proven to hold my hand and guide my way. In 2008, my dad lost his job for almost two years. I was just entering Jr. High…as if life weren’t awkward enough. I tried to hold it together, and show the world how strong I was, but inwardly, I was crumbling. I grew up in the church, so I knew how to wear the mask well, but my soul longed for something more. No amount of money, no nice house, and no fancy meal could fill the holes in my heart, and I knew it. I felt like my life was falling apart, but truly it was falling into place. At the time, I was blindsided by my pain and I could not see the presence of the Lord, but he was there. Oh, how he was there. Amazingly, during those two years, my parents were able to send my brother and I to private school, and I was able to continue pursuing dance four times a week, due to the generosity and grace of many people. Saying these words out loud blows my mind. God is faithful and he is good. I didn’t ask for God to give me trust without borders, but he knew I would need it then to prepare me for the years to come. He knew that I would need his supernatural strength and faith to say no to college, and yes to IGNITE. Now that I look back, the trial was so worth it. In that time, my faith became my own. I had to decide if God was real and if he honestly loved me with an everlasting, always and forever love. Though I couldn’t see him at times, I could feel him. I felt his hand intertwined in mine, I saw his light ever before me, and I heard his tender voice whispering in my ear, “We are going to make it.” God is real and God is good! Isaiah 30:19-21 says, “He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. As soon as he hears it, he answers you. And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you saying, “This is the way, walk in it.” When you turn to the right or to the left.” How beautiful. My God is before me and beside me. Though circumstance may rock me, it will not move me when my feet are anchored deep in the everlasting rock. I may not know what God is doing, but I do know who he is, and in that my soul finds rest and overwhelming JOY. 

Application: I want the Lord to be ever before me, every single day. This week, as soon as I wake up, I will pray that Jesus will guide me and that his light will illuminate my way. Psalm 73:23-26: “Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”